"Tales from the Tour" - 2006

by Mick (Looking Sharp) Fisher

Sunday

I started my tour at 10.15am by picking up young Quimby, followed by Lord and Lady Eskins and rendezvousing with assorted other Centurion types at Pie Towers. The journey was punctuated by a music trivia quiz extrordinaire.  We decided that we were all quite sad really.  When we crossed the bridge that old wag Erskins offered to pay the toll into England (what a guy!)  As Mr and Mrs E had decided to come a day early we discovered that the White Hart (newly gentrified) had no spare rooms for them.  We tried the pub across the road and there was no room at that inn either.  We didn't even have a stable or a manger to rest in.  Then after some frantic calls a room was found in The Old Rectory, Huish Champflower - 4 miles as the crow flies, but about 25 if you take the windy country roads!  So, armed with a map and a leaflet for the Quince Honey Farm ("you've never seen so many bees!") we set off.

After what seemed like a day and a half we finally found the place and they booked in.  Then on to Timberscombe for the first match.  We batted first and Quimby reached 70 (in true test match fashion) I got an exquisite 6 (that's six runs in total, not A SIX!)  and Donny sat in the box moaning about the lack of help to do scoring.  After a tea that set us back £50 (I'm not kidding) we bowled pretty well and actually won the match.  Highlights for me were JT's scintillating overs and the complete lack of anyone remotely resembling Sammy German.  Then, back to the White Hart for food, fines, Pimms, beer, etc, etc.

Monday

After keeping room-mate Piehead awake all night with my snoring I trundled down to breakfast and had the Full Monty (of course).  No match today, so most of us went to play 10 pin bowling.  I managed to be even worse at this sort of bowling than at the cricketing variety and finished a very poor last - but I was looking sharp!  On the way back I managed to get lost in the car park (yes, I was fined for it).  A steady afternoon/evening/late night session was enlivened by the arival of Sean, Zimbo, Mini Mash, Nathan Cud and Zidane and all the Thomas family.  I was nowhere in the 'What time will Mr Davies arrive' sweepstake.  Highlights were 'Who's that coming over the hill, is it a Beadon?' and Quimby claiming innocence over his non appearance at the 2nd XI match.

Tuesday

Tuesday morning on tour for me means the traditional visit to Minehead for the market with Don.  This year Pie came along too, what joy!  We were totally underwhelmed by the wares on display and Donny nearly went down clutching his wallet when it was announced that a mug of tea was 90p.  On the way back I was thoroughly entertained by the 'banter' between the Sylvester siblings (more was to come!)  We made our way to Crowcombe (famed for legendary teas and my 5 for 20 of three years ago, but I don't like to talk about it).  The teas were excellent, but our bowling wasn't, as they rattled up 261 in the 40 overs.  The batting was ambling along when I joined Sean at the crease.  Whilst attempting a run I felt something go 'ping' in my groin and I collapsed dramatically, losing control of the bat which bounced over the stumps and nearly took the 'keeper's head off.  As I lay prostrate I could hear Ryan's hysterical laughter and skipper Eskins calling for a camera.  I retired hurt, but I later found that I'd actually been run out - and, yes, I got fined for this too.  Eskins and Zimbo put on a lot of runs for the last wicket and nearly pulled it off (oo'er matron) but Zimbo was caught on the boundary with a few more runs still required, so we were defeated.  Then it was off to the Crowcombe local where I 'willingly' bought JT the traditional half of cider.  The journey back with the Chuckle Brothers and Quimby was a classic.  Dave and Don were in fine form - scoring points off each other at will.  Most of us went to the Indian in Williton for nice meal.  Then back to Wiveliscombe for more drinks and stuff.  By now the Pimms was completely sold out.  Highlights were Shae annoying Donny all day, Piehead calling the waiter 'Gupta' (cringe) and Quimby and Ryan hitting each other with their handbags!!

Pie Modelling 'The Man at Oxfam' Look

Wednesday

The final day of the tour brought with it the promise of rain.  We all went to Taunton for a stroll and I managed to get lost again.  However, by cunningly playing on my poorly groin I managed to get free disabled parking next to the County Ground.  Lady Eskins of Teifi went shopping, causing David E to fret.  Relief all round when it is discovered that she's not spent the entire bank balance.  A coffee at the 'Flying Aubergine' (you couldn't make these names up!) served by the strange looking waitress was the undoubted morning highlight.  Then it was on to Bagborough for the match I sat this one out (groin, you know) and watched as the home side piled up a few runs, with the young ginger lad getting 178 (Muzzy Power).  Then in a bit of a reprise from the previous day, we had a blinding run fest.  Ryan top scored with 70 and it looked like a dramatic finish would be on the cards - but the rains came down and that was end of sports for the tour.

The journey home was more subdued, but we managed a few more rounds of trivia before arriving in Barry amid pouring rain. 

So, another tour ends - it was a classic as far as I'm concerned.  To those who shared it with me, thanks.  It's been emotional.

Mick

For More Tour Photos - CLICK HERE